Yorkshire Yeti’s No-Nonsense Guide to Beard & Moustache Care
For beards as bold as a proper brew
1. Wash It, You Mucky Pup
Nobody wants a beard full of last night’s pie crumbs.
✅ Use a gentle beard wash or warm water to keep it fresh.
✅ Pat dry—don’t rub it like you’re scrubbing the kitchen floor.
💧 2. Feed the Beast
Dry, wiry whiskers? Nah, lad.
✅ Rub in Yorkshire Yeti Beard Serum—rich in natural oils to soften your face hedge.
✅ Work it right down to the skin. That’s where the magic happens.
🪵 3. Comb It Like You Mean It
A proper beard deserves respect.
✅ Use a good comb or boar-bristle brush to untangle knots and train it to grow tidy—not sideways like your Uncle Geoff’s comb-over.
🕯️ 4. Wax On, Win Life
Tame stray hairs and shape your moustache so it doesn’t end up in your cuppa.
✅ Warm a thumb full of Yorkshire Yeti Beard Wax between your fingers.
✅ Smooth it through, shaping as you go.
✅ Smile smugly in the mirror—because you, sir, are a legend.
✂️ 5. Trim, But Don’t Butcher It
✅ Use decent scissors or a trimmer to tidy the edges.
✅ Step away if you’re feeling heavy-handed after a few pints.
✅ Remember: you can always take more off, but you can’t stick it back on.
📜 6. Beard Facts to Impress Your Mates
✅ Beards Grow Fast:
The average beard grows about half an inch (1.25 cm) per month, so in a year, you could sprout six inches of glorious face foliage.
✅ Victorian Swagger:
In Victorian Yorkshire, a full beard was a sign of dignity and manliness—and sometimes even prescribed by doctors to protect against illness. (Probably nonsense, but it sounded good.)
✅ Respect the Length:
The longest beard ever recorded belonged to Hans Langseth, measuring a whopping 5.33 metres (17 feet 6 inches). He’d have needed a barrel of Yeti Wax to tame that lot.
✅ Beard Power:
Studies show that men with beards are often perceived as more confident, mature, and trustworthy. Basically, your beard does half the talking for you.
✅ Whisker Count:
The average man’s face boasts around 30,000 beard hairs. No wonder it takes a proper balm to keep them in line.
💪 7. Wear It With Pride
A well-kept beard is the mark of a proper bloke.
✅ Smell like a Kiwi legend with Smoky Scotch or Seville Sunset.
✅ Keep it soft, keep it bold, and never settle for limp whiskers.
Yorkshire Yeti Grooming.
For beards bolder than your Auntie Nora’s opinions.
👉 Shop the full range at www.nzyeti.com.